I have missed you. I only have myself to blame, for I have been neglecting you. This is indeed a travesty, but I will be the first to admit that it is definitely not the last time this will happen. How on earth could this possibly happen when I don't have a job, nor am I in school or participating in any other type of full time activity?! Is it possible that I have actually over hobbified my life and that I get so caught up with some hobbies that others, such as my beloved blog, are unintentionally forced to spend some time on the back burner? Well the answer is, yes. This is indeed the case. My list of new hobbies has kept me pleasantly busy and often times the remainder of the day is filled with super fun errands, laundry, dishes, and general maintenance of my dirty ass apartment. Sounds overwhelmingly exciting, I know. But don't fret, those aren't the only things that I do, and I am nowhere near Stepford wife status, mainly on account of the fact that I never wear lipstick, nor do I change out of my sweatpants to do these chores.
Now, before I delve into the newest ways in which I bide my time in Europe, there are a few things that I must come clean about. There have been two fairly major contributing factors to my blog procrastination, neither of which can truly be considered hobbies. Let's start with the least valid factor. Movie marathons. I'm sorry. It happens. I blame the fact that there are a gazillion movie channels on tv and they are constantly streaming all of the romantic comedies that you neglected to watch in the United States, and a plethora of other films that you heard about once and then totally forgot about because it was only in theaters for 1 week due to the fact that no one really liked it. I have wasted at least 15 hours in the last ten days on watching movies. In order to save you from this same fate lest you fall upon a movie channel such as this, I will give you some brief feedback on some of the films I have watched.
Blue State: A horrendous attempt at a quirky, indy film. I wanted to punch every character in the throat. It has Anna Paquin in it, and in my opinion she hasn't done anything cool since she was in "Fly Away Home" when I was 10, and that doesn't even really count because she was the token cute kid that they threw into a movie about some geese. She sucks at acting. Never see this film.
Quantum of Solace: This was the most recent Bond flick. Entertaining as always, but probably one of the most boring Bond plots ever. I like that new actor though, I always thought Pierce Brosnan was too much of a pretty-boy pussy to pull of 007. Worth watching if you have some free time.
Reign Over Me: This movie actually has a pretty interesting cast. Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Liv Tyler, and Jada Pinkett-Smith. Not that well done, which is probably why it was overlooked, but still an interesting look at the way humans cope with tragedy. I cried, which means that it succeded in moving me in some way (not that this is rare because I cry every time I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition). Only watch this if you're bored.
P.S. I Love You: Romantic comedy. Hilary Swank. It was cute and entertaining enough. I obviously cried. However, I think Hilary might be better off playing boxers and boys. Watch this if you have ovaries.
Bee Movie: This was a pretty cute little cartoon film with a lot of wit involved. But everybody knows that humans and bees can't fall in love with eachother. Watch Madagascar 2 instead.
Brideshead Revisited: The film version of the novel, that was also a tv series at some point. Beautiful cinematography and pretty fascinating characters. Probably my favorite movie of the week.
Ok. Now I've saved you a ton of trouble and you won't have to endure the absolute torture of spending rainy days watching random films. You can thank me later, because I realize that I have been totally selfless and truly taken one for the team here. But let me move on to the real distraction. I have a problem. I admit it. I feel like it is important to come clean because we all know that the first step to overcoming an addiction, is to admit that you have one in the first place. It's true...
I farm. On Facebook (Insert wince here). There is an application on facebook that allows you to play a game called Farm Town which is similar to the Sims except that it is based around building and maintaining your farm. It was introduced to me by a few ladies whom shall remain nameless in order to protect them from your malicious judgement and subsequent discrimination against facebook farmers (but they know who they are, and they know they are to blame for my addiction). I'm aware that this is super embarrassing and you can judge me if you want to, because I have honestly spent countless hours judging myself for this. But look at the reality of the situation, I don't have a job and thus experience boredom at times. In this situation boys play video games such as Halo, FIFA, and other weird shit like World of War Craft. Instead, I farm. So accept it and get over it. It is super gross that I have spent enough hours on my farm to become a level 27 farmer, and the fact of the matter is, I will probably continue to waste my time farming until I have become the Queen of the farming universe and command 1 trillion Farm Town serfs (and/or get distracted by some other game that is more addicting and exciting). So laugh all you want, but at least I have been honest about my farming problem, and let's be real here, people have MUCH stranger addictions, so I'll take farming any day.
Now that we have that out of the way, we can discuss the newest edition to my already busy, hobby-filled schedule. Working out. The day that an ex-athlete refers to working out as a "hobby" is a really friggin tragic one. This is when you realize that shit only goes down hill from this point on, and before you know it you have to wear a girdle and you're winded from walking up 1 flight of stairs. Gone are the days of eating an entire pizza and pre-gaming dinner with dinner, and then still fitting into your clothing. Shit. Anyways, I finally sucked it up and joined the gym. You might be thinking to yourself that this is a boring way to utilize my time, and you may wonder what it is about a gym that could possibly be so entertaining to me. If you are indeed asking yourself these things, then it is aparent to me that you've never been into a European fitness center.
Americans suck at a lot of things. Including being skinny. However, the U.S. is a massive country, and so it wouldn't be fair to assume that every person in the States lives an unhealthy lifestyle. We should give Americans credit for creating a prevalent work-out and fitness "culture". Most kids participate in some sort of athletic program at some point, schools require that you take physical education, and it has become extremely popular to join gyms. Part of this might be on account of the fact that Americans have really fucking weird body image issues and they feel pressured to look a certain way in order to fit in, and the other part might be on account of the fact that people finally realized that eating like a cow and sitting on your ass leads to health issues and then death. Regardless, this type of work-out culture doesn't exist in Europe. It doesn't seem very common for people to have a gym membership here, and it is even more rare to see someone running or exercising outdoors. At the same time, you don't see very many overweight people because Europeans don't super-size everything they eat (and it is hard to make room for food in your stomach when it is filled with delicious beer), and many people walk or ride their bikes on a daily basis. WOW, portion control and daily activity, what a snazzy concept! Anyways, my point is that all of these factors contribute to a really interesting experience in European gyms.
I love lists. So here is a list of a few qualities that are unique to European fitness centers:
1. The music being played suggests that you might not really be in a gym, but at a rave-tastic dance party instead. If Jock Jams made a Europe '09 cd, then I imagine all of the songs that I heard at the gym would be on it. Only in Europe can someone take "I Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash, and turn it into a dance track with a video that includes jorts, butt cheeks, cowboy boots, and a man with dreads playing a tiny guitar in the desert. It all makes perfect sense... right?!
2. There are between 3 and 5 other people in the gym, and I am clearly the only one sweating like a man-beast.
3. During your workout, it is possible that you might see someone being take out of the gym on a gurney... those treadmills are really dangerous. Please do not attempt to operate heavy machinery whilst drunk, and please note that chain smoking possibly adds to the workout's difficulty level.
4. Workout attire may include denim, an excess of sweat bands, full body spandex, and if you happen to be from Prague then sandals or bare feet will also be excepted in the weight room. Wear whatever your little heart desires; no one will judge you because there is no one else at the gym!
I could continue this magical list forever, but I'm tired and my face hurts from staring at a computer screen. In conclusion, it is far too easy to procrastinate when it comes to updating my blog because there are just so many important things for me to do, and just not enough hours in the day. Ugh. My life is so hard! How will I ever survive?! Now you'll have to excuse me because I'm going to go hop in my car and drive to Germany for the weekend.
Jealous?
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